Let’s face it: sometimes dating, well, it just sucks. The quest to find Mr. Right is full of ups and downs. Date one is great but by date three, you start to see some of his true colors and they aren’t that pretty. You might even ask yourself, “ Am I being too picky? Should I lower my standards?” The answer for both questions is absolutely not.
You deserve to be in a relationship that makes you happy and that is fulfilling, even if the thought of getting back out there and dating again makes you sick to your stomach. After all, who wants to start over? You do.
Settling for Mr. Good Enough is a recipe for disaster. Why do you think most marriages fail? Many times people get married for the wrong reasons to the wrong person.
Being alone may not seem like an ideal situation, but it is better than being with the wrong person. Even if everyone around you is in a relationship, don’t stay in an okay relationship simply because you want to be with someone. Someone is not good enough. You want the right person for you.
If you aren’t sure he is the one, chances are, he is not. Pay attention to your instincts and how you feel when you are around him. Ask yourself these questions:
Do I feel like I can be myself when I am with him?
Am I happier when I am with him or without him?
Do I make excuses for him and his behavior?
Am I looking to change him?
If you are trying to change someone or if you are constantly defending his behavior, then it is time to take a good look at your relationship. If you are more yourself and happier when you are alone, then it is time to take a stand. Is this the type of relationship you really want to be in? Are your friends rolling their eyes and are they tired of hearing you complain about him? Maybe you aren’t even sharing with your friends because you know, deep down, you deserve more.
Once you close the door to a bad relationship, a new door opens up. All you have to do is walk in. You can’t walk in if you are still hanging on to some thread that Mr. Good enough will change. He won’t! So stop wasting time with the wrong man.
Take a moment to think about what your life would be like if you had the right partner. Imagine vacationing together, coming home to someone who asks you about your day, or just snuggling up on the couch. Don’t deny yourself the relationship you want.
Start by reviewing your dating history. Look back on your relationships. Ask yourself, what were the things you loved about the person? Why didn’t it work? Usually there are things you loved about one man and other things you loved about another. If you were going to take the best from each, who would that person be?
There is no perfect person out there, but there is someone who is perfect for you. It doesn’t matter if your hair is long or short, if you are overweight or underweight. The right person will embrace your imperfections instead of using them to make you feel lousy about yourself.
The bottom line is: you can and should be happy. Give yourself a gut check and ask yourself, “When I am with him, I am more happy than not?” So what if he says all the right things, it is his actions that count.
Now is the time for your actions! It’s your time to have it all – and you deserve it!
This article originally appeared in the March 2016 issue of Kalon Women Magazine. Click Here to learn more about Kalon Women Magazine.