Let’s face it. Growing up as little girls most of us loved the story of Cinderella. Who doesn’t want to be rescued by a handsome man on a white horse? It seems exciting and wonderful. The story ends as expected and we see them ride off into the sunset believing that they have the perfect life. The story changes as we grow up with different movies coming out with the same general theme. “Pretty Woman” is a perfect example of a man rescuing a woman, but in this version she gets into a limo and rides off. However, we are left to assume that they embark on a perfect life.
The images we see in movies, TV, commercials, and magazines look like pure bliss. There is only one problem: it isn’t reality. Happily ever after does exist, but not in the way we see depicted all around us. You need to create your own happily ever after with the understanding that it is not going to be perfect every day. There is a reason why wedding vows say in sickness and in health and in good times and bad. It means there are going to be easy days and days you’re wondering why you got into a relationship in the first place.
If you have been single for a while, be prepared for adjustments, compromises and some tears. Also be prepared for romantic moments, unconditional support and laughter. Your relationship is going to have them all. The key is to make sure you are having many more good moments than upsetting ones. Be prepared to handle both with gratitude.
Arguments give you information. They give you an opportunity to grow, learn and communicate. They give you an opportunity for a deeper more meaningful relationship. Romance and support remind you that it is worth it. Having a partner who loves, respects and nourishes you is what you want.
Each of us has our own definition of “Prince Charming.” Some of us like tall and dark hair. Some of us prefer blondes. We might love an artsy man or a corporate man. The key is you create your own definition of what it is you want. Who is your Prince Charming? Think about the people who bring out your best. Before you can find him, you have to be happy with who you are. You have to be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. You have to know where you are going and see how that person is going to fit into your lifestyle and you into theirs.
Sometimes we spend our time hopping from one “Prince” to the next in search of the perfect mate. As soon as something goes wrong with our prince, we jump off the horse, ready to fall for the next man. Many times we quit a relationship too soon because there was this one thing that wasn’t what we thought. Here is a little news flash: everyone is going to have that one or two things you don’t like because there is no perfect person. In every good relationship something is going to drive you a little crazy at times. Knowing what you want will help you communicate through the little things you might not like. At the same time, don’t stay with the wrong guy just because you told everyone he was the one. If you aren’t being treated the way you deserve, it is time to move on. However, if you don’t like how he leaves his clothes on the floor, consider whether this is enough for you to really move on.
Before you move on to the next man, be sure to take some time for yourself. Alone time is good time. Too many times we jump into a new relationship before we have completely closed the door on the old relationship. Giving yourself time to reflect on what worked and didn’t work is helpful before rushing into the next date.
This is not the time to sit and watch a romantic comedy or even look at Facebook and see pictures of happy couples and wonder why it isn’t you. Don’t compare yourself to other people’s highlight reels on social media. Focus on the positives of the relationship just ended and start to visualize your next relationship. Every person you meet will get you closer to your own “Prince Charming.” Just remember he isn’t going to be a prince 24 by 7.
This article originally appeared in the May 2016 issue of Kalon Women Magazine. Click Here to learn more about Kalon Women Magazine.