Stop Listening to the Experts!

“Stop looking for someone to live with. Look for someone you can't live without” - Jen and Kim

Are you scratching your head wondering if this is it?  You grew up believing you can do and achieve everything and out you went to conquer the business world.  Perhaps your mom engrained in your brain how important it was to be successful and independent.  She might have even told you that you don’t need a man in your life and make sure you can take care of yourself.

So here you are now single, successful and you can take of yourself.  You have a nice home, great friends and an active social.  Maybe you are at a point of thinking what’s next or even what’s missing?  You keep listening to the old Beyonce song and hear her sing, “All the single ladies, if you like it you shoulda put a ring on it” and listening to that song has you scratching your head wondering how it is possible that you are still single when you have so much to offer?

If you want to be in a loving committed relationship then you need to look at your habits, beliefs and mindset and form a recipe of success so you can have it all.  To start you journey you must first have the mindset that you will never give up.  It doesn’t matter where you are or where you have been as long as you continue to strive for what you want.  If you want a relationship, you can have one.  You must continue your journey, if you stop and give up all your hopes and dreams stop too.

Your road might be bumpy, but it will be worth it. You might date guys that drive you crazy, it might take you longer than you want but you can achieve the happily ever after you want.

If you have a bad date or day, work on not letting that one date effect your overall mindset.  Many times, we are quick to revert to negative self talk and say things like “I will never find anyone” or “all the good man are taken”.  When you start to feel these negative emotions coming through take control of them and use them to fuel your desire for success.  Immediately say the exact opposite.  Try, “my ideal mate is right around the corner” or “Mr. Right is waiting for me”!

Work on having a mindset that sees and believes you will be in the relationship of your dreams no matter what.  Changing the way, you think and having a positive and determined mindset for your journey is the key to your success and happiness.

At the same time embrace your successes.  Enjoy the fact that you can take care of yourself and be ok with the thought that now your vision has changed and includes having a successful relationship.  Believe it is possible to have it all and you deserve it.

It sounds easy enough, but chances are you are going to have to develop some new habits, especially since psychologists claim that 90% of behavior is habitual.  This means if you want some different results you might need to give up some habits.

You can start by thinking of your daily routine.  Do you have in your schedule, time to find Mr. Right?  Is your schedule filled with procrastination items like paying the bills, returning phone calls, working late?  Really take stock of what might be limiting you and make room to find Mr. Right.  This means look at any of your negative habits and replace them with productive habits and develop a system that will support you with finding the man of your dreams.

For example, if you always work late because you are not a morning person, try a couple of days a week going into work early and leaving on time.  Schedule something right at the close of your work day that you have to go to.  Think about a class, going to the gym, meeting a friend.  If you haven’t met him at work yet, chances are you need to get out of the office.  This one habit could make a huge difference.

Your mom and the experts are right about one thing... 

You can have everything you want.  Now you just must decide what that is and know what having it all means. Use our Have it All Planner to show you step by step what you need to do to have the relationship and career of your dreams.

Having it All!

• I have the career/job I love

• I have a love who support me and who every day I enjoy

• I know how to balance my relationships and my career

• Both get better everyday

• Everyday I feel grateful and blessed